Oh, I've been real bad. I gained .8 pounds last week at weigh in. I am pretty darn sure tomorrow at weigh in they may just kick me right out of the meeting. I did speak for the first time at the last meeting, talking about realizing I'm a stress eater and that I need to distract myself from eating when I'm stressed. So what have I been doing for the last few weeks? Stress eating. Has it stopped? no. Has it gotten worse? Yes. I went home this past weekend because I had to move some stuff home and I pigged out. Pigged. I feel like I'm starving, but I know I'm not. But I eat anyway. Stress eating. I'm good at it.
The good news though is that I've been taking Lyrica, which has just been approved by the FDA for treatment of Fibromyalgia (the only one out there as of yet; although there are many other drugs used to treat symptoms, these treatments are actually "off label" treatments). The good part of this news is that it is helping! I feel a whole lot better, it's really amazing! The general pain level is down considerably. I still hurt like hell if you touch me, but as long as I don't bump up against anything I'm great. Still in pain, but not nearly as bad. I actually feel like I can get up in the morning. I feel like I can make it through the day, and I feel like I can exercise! I'm ready to work out! And when I start working out, I will feel even better. And I won't be so stressed, so I won't eat every carb that crosses my path!
So while the present situation is a little bleak, the future is looking so bright, you should be wearing shades! I have my Transitions lenses on :)
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
October 4, 2007
Check it out! I lost 1.2 pounds this week! So, since I gained 2.8 last week, I only have 6.6 pounds to lose in the next five weeks...Theoretically, one would think that I should be able to do that, since I didn't follow the plan this week and didn't do anything good exercise wise. I have a feeling I won't be following the plan for at least another two weeks. So my main interest right now is not gaining. I'm real curious to see what happens from week to week. I'm also more than a little curious to weigh myself on the same day, at the same time, on all three scales in the meeting place. I still think there's a difference.
The meeting tonight was much better. Maybe it was just a better topic, we just talked about "dieting" vs. "lifestyle changes", and there was a really good conversation. We weren't writing weight loss resumes, I'm not into that. But good conversation is nice. And next week I'll be going to another different time, so maybe it'll be even better! :)
The meeting tonight was much better. Maybe it was just a better topic, we just talked about "dieting" vs. "lifestyle changes", and there was a really good conversation. We weren't writing weight loss resumes, I'm not into that. But good conversation is nice. And next week I'll be going to another different time, so maybe it'll be even better! :)
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sept. 27, 2007
So I went to a conference this past weekend, and gained 2 pounds. I'm not sure how that happened, it sure didn't seem like I ate that much worse than I usually do. Maybe I'm just retaining water today. Or it was the damn cheesecake at the Horny Toad.
Since my last post, I received a challenge from Laura to actually join Weight Watchers and go to the meetings, and lose 5 pounds in 8 weeks. She knows I'm not going to back down from a challenge. So I joined and have now gone to two meetings. Which is how I know that I've gained 2 pounds. Even worse than that, thanks to the eTools, I also know that since I very first started WW in 2002 I've gained 19 pounds. Not gonna lie. I'm completely not motivated by this. But I'll get over it. I still have a challenge to meet.
I think the hardest part of the challenge is not the part about losing weight. Even though technically now I have 7 pounds to lose in 5 weeks. But I digress. The meetings I"ve gone to have been awful. Last week one woman brought her toddler with her, and he spent the entire meeting babbling and running around. And I was right behind and right next to two sets of women who knew each other and talked the entire time. To each other and to the group. Not impressed with the Leader. Today we did "Weight Loss Resumes" which, before people went off topic, was nothing much more than a plug for all of the WW products. The ladies who checked me in last week and got me started were real nice, I liked them. The lady who checked me in today wasn't nice. When I weighed in and it showed I had gained, she just looked at me like I had no business at the meeting and got short with me. And she kept my little passport book thingie, so I guess I'm not allowed to monitor my weight anymore. Maybe she was just having a bad day, and it was busy. My other issue is that all the more accomplished people sit in the front together and chat with the Leader about family and friends and stuff because they all know each other. It's a little intimidating for me. I'm not giving up though. I'm paid up until Oct. 19. I'm going to go to a different meeting next week. And a different meeting after that. Maybe I'll go to all the meetings next week. If I still don't feel comfortable with any of the groups though, I'm going to go with just the eTools. It's cheaper, and there are message boards for support. I'm all about not really interacting with real people.
I'm moving back to campus next month, so Tyler and I will have no excuse to get out and exercise. We're going to do laps around campus, which is easy since campus is a big circle. And the Fitness Center and pool are just down the street. I will have a meal plan, so I will eat salad. I will try real hard not to eat french fries.
Since my last post, I received a challenge from Laura to actually join Weight Watchers and go to the meetings, and lose 5 pounds in 8 weeks. She knows I'm not going to back down from a challenge. So I joined and have now gone to two meetings. Which is how I know that I've gained 2 pounds. Even worse than that, thanks to the eTools, I also know that since I very first started WW in 2002 I've gained 19 pounds. Not gonna lie. I'm completely not motivated by this. But I'll get over it. I still have a challenge to meet.
I think the hardest part of the challenge is not the part about losing weight. Even though technically now I have 7 pounds to lose in 5 weeks. But I digress. The meetings I"ve gone to have been awful. Last week one woman brought her toddler with her, and he spent the entire meeting babbling and running around. And I was right behind and right next to two sets of women who knew each other and talked the entire time. To each other and to the group. Not impressed with the Leader. Today we did "Weight Loss Resumes" which, before people went off topic, was nothing much more than a plug for all of the WW products. The ladies who checked me in last week and got me started were real nice, I liked them. The lady who checked me in today wasn't nice. When I weighed in and it showed I had gained, she just looked at me like I had no business at the meeting and got short with me. And she kept my little passport book thingie, so I guess I'm not allowed to monitor my weight anymore. Maybe she was just having a bad day, and it was busy. My other issue is that all the more accomplished people sit in the front together and chat with the Leader about family and friends and stuff because they all know each other. It's a little intimidating for me. I'm not giving up though. I'm paid up until Oct. 19. I'm going to go to a different meeting next week. And a different meeting after that. Maybe I'll go to all the meetings next week. If I still don't feel comfortable with any of the groups though, I'm going to go with just the eTools. It's cheaper, and there are message boards for support. I'm all about not really interacting with real people.
I'm moving back to campus next month, so Tyler and I will have no excuse to get out and exercise. We're going to do laps around campus, which is easy since campus is a big circle. And the Fitness Center and pool are just down the street. I will have a meal plan, so I will eat salad. I will try real hard not to eat french fries.
Monday, September 17, 2007
September 17, 2007
Way back in February/March-ish my Chiropractor at the time convinced me that the reason I wasn't feeling well was because I had hidden food allergies and a yeast buildup in my system. For about a minute I eliminated all yeast, sugar, soy, corn, wheat and dairy from my diet. During that minute I ate some chicken. I also went to the grocery store and bought me a jar of natural peanut butter--peanut butter with nothing but peanuts and salt in it. I finally opened it up this weekend and tried it. First, I had to stir it, because the peanut oil separates. It's really kind of icky, and hard to do. It took me about 10 minutes to stir it enough so that it wasn't a liquid goo. It was easy to spread, which was good. Too bad it had no taste. I guess I never realized that peanuts don't really taste like much. And it was kind of oily. I couldn't finish the sandwich. I didn't even let Tyler eat it. I'm sure that some people enjoy natural peanut butter. However, I'm going to stick with my reduced fat super chunky Jif.
And I have been on a peanut butter and pretzels kick. So I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches and pretzels. And cereal. I need to eat the stuff that's in my freezer.
I'm feeling better, so that's a good thing. I only took the elevator up the stairs at work once today. And Tyler and I added a bit to our walk this evening. We'll take it slow, because we're both way out of shape. But if I didn't cut the walk off, he'd just go and go and go, even though he's panting and limping. "No mom, just one more block! I can do it! I wanna check out that mailbox post!"
And I have been on a peanut butter and pretzels kick. So I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches and pretzels. And cereal. I need to eat the stuff that's in my freezer.
I'm feeling better, so that's a good thing. I only took the elevator up the stairs at work once today. And Tyler and I added a bit to our walk this evening. We'll take it slow, because we're both way out of shape. But if I didn't cut the walk off, he'd just go and go and go, even though he's panting and limping. "No mom, just one more block! I can do it! I wanna check out that mailbox post!"
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sept. 12, 2007
"Are you expecting?"
I knew the question would come up sometime, especially with these empire waist shirts I got this summer. I put one on this morning and if I didn't know me, I would have thought I was preggers too. The poor lady was the quesadilla lady in the cafeteria, and she was way more embarrassed than I was. So I put a jacket on for the rest of the day. And I'm going to refrain from wearing the empire waist shirts for a while.
I went home last week. My Grandma Ireland told me that I looked like I didn't weigh as much as I do. My Grandma Delaney asked me if I went on walks. Hee, Grandma D. would die before she would tell me I need to lose weight to my face, so that's about as close as she would get. And she may not have meant anything other than legitimately wanting to know if I go on walks. Grandma Ireland is very honest and blunt, she always has been, but more especially since her tumor. So I must have been wearing a good shirt that day. Too bad I don't remember what it was :)
I went to the rodeo and just felt uncomfortable the whole time. I sweat through my shirt in the front (probably in the back too, but I couldn't see it) so that was cute. And then I just felt...not like people were looking at me, but that I didn't want anyone to look at me. I felt the same way at the Renaissance Festival, especially when I was riding the camel:
Of course that doesn't stop me from taking pictures of myself. What it all comes down to is that I have lost my sense of personal comfort with my body. Physically I've felt like crap for a while, which is what prompted the whole fat camp thing to begin with. But up until two weeks ago, I did not really care what I looked like. Well, I cared, but I was comfortable with me. So here we have two challenges: lose the weight and force myself to go out in public. I can't use this as an excuse to become a hermit.
I will use my allergies as an excuse for now. I've called in sick twice this week because of them, and it's only Wednesday. They were really really bad before I left for home, I had to postpone my trip by a day because of them. So I got some Claritin to get me through, but I haven't taken it in a couple days. I think I'm going to go back on them. I used to take Nasonex and Allegra, but my doctor took me off those because of my mystery disease. We thought that might help. It didn't hurt, until now, when I think I'm going to die. I have been getting allergy shots for about a year, but I have had increasing reactions to them, so I haven't gone for a couple weeks. I couldn't do them when I was a kid because of bad reactions, so I guess that's still the case. Bummer.
Have I been eating well? Nope. Have I been exercising? Nope. The key is now to just do it. And I will! Not tonight. Probably not tomorrow either. But I'm thinking about it. Maybe this weekend.
:)
I knew the question would come up sometime, especially with these empire waist shirts I got this summer. I put one on this morning and if I didn't know me, I would have thought I was preggers too. The poor lady was the quesadilla lady in the cafeteria, and she was way more embarrassed than I was. So I put a jacket on for the rest of the day. And I'm going to refrain from wearing the empire waist shirts for a while.
I went home last week. My Grandma Ireland told me that I looked like I didn't weigh as much as I do. My Grandma Delaney asked me if I went on walks. Hee, Grandma D. would die before she would tell me I need to lose weight to my face, so that's about as close as she would get. And she may not have meant anything other than legitimately wanting to know if I go on walks. Grandma Ireland is very honest and blunt, she always has been, but more especially since her tumor. So I must have been wearing a good shirt that day. Too bad I don't remember what it was :)
I went to the rodeo and just felt uncomfortable the whole time. I sweat through my shirt in the front (probably in the back too, but I couldn't see it) so that was cute. And then I just felt...not like people were looking at me, but that I didn't want anyone to look at me. I felt the same way at the Renaissance Festival, especially when I was riding the camel:
Of course that doesn't stop me from taking pictures of myself. What it all comes down to is that I have lost my sense of personal comfort with my body. Physically I've felt like crap for a while, which is what prompted the whole fat camp thing to begin with. But up until two weeks ago, I did not really care what I looked like. Well, I cared, but I was comfortable with me. So here we have two challenges: lose the weight and force myself to go out in public. I can't use this as an excuse to become a hermit.
I will use my allergies as an excuse for now. I've called in sick twice this week because of them, and it's only Wednesday. They were really really bad before I left for home, I had to postpone my trip by a day because of them. So I got some Claritin to get me through, but I haven't taken it in a couple days. I think I'm going to go back on them. I used to take Nasonex and Allegra, but my doctor took me off those because of my mystery disease. We thought that might help. It didn't hurt, until now, when I think I'm going to die. I have been getting allergy shots for about a year, but I have had increasing reactions to them, so I haven't gone for a couple weeks. I couldn't do them when I was a kid because of bad reactions, so I guess that's still the case. Bummer.
Have I been eating well? Nope. Have I been exercising? Nope. The key is now to just do it. And I will! Not tonight. Probably not tomorrow either. But I'm thinking about it. Maybe this weekend.
:)
Friday, August 31, 2007
at least i haven't gained anyting
Well, after the month from heck and eating whatever i felt like whenever i felt like it, all the stress and running around seemed to cancel it out, because i didn't gain a pound. I'm quite pleased with that. So I will have no excuse to lose weight when I'm back in the fat camp game. :)
Monday, August 20, 2007
August 20, 2007
I haven't been doing very well keeping myself accountable, so I feel I must confess my latest sins before I move on to commit more.
It's August. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I started this adventure, but August is a terrible month to be doing this. This week happens to be the Week From Hell. I had once thought that no one understood the hell that is August unless they were in residence life. I was wrong. I'm in Day Three of Seven, and I'm plain exhuasted. But I did start the day off with five minutes of Richard Simmons--on day two of the Orientation programs I energize my staff at 7 AM with my boy Richard. It's so fun !
OK, here's the confession. On Saturday (Day One), I had cereal for breakfast, a Three Musketeers and a giant Pepsi for lunch, and popcorn and a few Oreos for dinner. On Sunday (Day Two) I had cereal for breakfast, Cheetos and Pepsi for lunch, and a salad, some lasagna and breadsticks for dinner. Today (Day Three) I had French Toast for breakfast, a Nestle Crunch bar and a king size Snickers and a Mt. Dew for lunch, and a Lean Gormet for dinner. I would have had cereal for dinner, but I had a very sad finding when I came home tonight at 8 PM starving because I really didn't have lunch. I forgot to get milk. I'm all out of milk. Oh, the humanity of it! No matter how late I work tomorrow, I must remember to buy milk. And Powerball tickets. It is my week to win.
I did get some of that new V8 Fusion stuff on Friday, and tonight when I discovered I had no milk and was panicking about what I was going to try to eat at 8:30 at night I poured myself a glass of Pomegranate and Bluberries. Not bad. It smells funny and has some tomato undertones, but it's not bad. I'll try to drink a glass a day. I'll also get the Straberry Banana one, even though I'm not a fan of the strawberry/banana combination.
I'll be having donuts for breakfast, pizza for lunch and cereal for dinner tomorrow (Day Four). No guarantees for the rest of the week. My plan on Sunday is to have nothing but cereal and alcohol. Don't worry, I"ll be with friends while drinking. And you all know as well as I do that after one margarita or long island I'll be good to go. More than that and I fear for my life, with all the drugs I'm on. I haven't had more than one drink in one night since I first came here. Since starting the Ambien, I barely make it through one drink. And that's OK. Makes me a cheap date! Too bad I can't get a date...
On a non fat-camp note, did I mention I've given up on the eharmony test? I see those damn commericals and get pissed off now. I never even got close to meeting anyone. I think I exchanged four emails. What a crock. I'm done with dating. The only men I need are my Dad and Grandpa. Well, Dr. Bob too, he's moved me more times than I can count. He's earned a spot on the list.
And to reward you for being my loyal supporters, here is a cutie picture for you to enjoy:
ok, work beckons. live well!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
August 5, 2007
Phase two of fat camp has officially been postponed. I wasn't able to take any time off work last week, and have been busy doing housework all weekend. I sure do seem to spend a lot of time cleaning. I hate cleaning, too. And it's hot as a beast outside, so Tyler's not even getting exercise. He doesn't want it, either. He's a cold weather doggie.
I'm taking my weight and measurements again tonight. I did weigh myself at some point, and I remain unchanged at 174, which is fine with me. I've been indulging in many cherry cokes.
Friday I had a cooking adventure. Yes, I cooked after I came home from work! I read my friend Kevin's blog and he got a new grill, and I thought, Hmm, maybe I should grill tonight. I've had this little baby charcoal grill since I moved in here, and have never used it. So I fired it up! Tried to anyway. The charcoal lit just fine, but it wouldn't stay lit. I don't think there's enough ventilation in the lid. Anyway, I kept relighting it and getting smoked out, and finally, I threw a chicken breast on it. A frozen one. It works on the George Forman grill. But I don't recommend putting a frozen chicken breast on a charcoal grill. Expecially when the grill's not really hot enough yet. I was impatient. And I was using this Mrs. Dash seasoning stuff on it. By the time it finally got done, the chicken was so tough I couldn't cut it and really couldn't chew it. And the seasoning was icky, and I smelled like lighter fluid and smoke.
The upside to this adventure was that my baked french fries turned out just fine. Those aren't difficult. Had I cut them up out of potatoes myself, that would be different. But they're from the freezer. I also threw some carrots, celery and cauliflower in an aluminum foil packet, sprinkeld ranch dressing powder on them, and grilled them. They weren't bad. I could do without the powder.
But can I just reiterate the fact that I don't like vegetables? I really don't like them cooked at all. I couldn't get more than one carrot, one piece of celery, and one piece of cauliflower down. I just couldn't do it. I really hate them. Sigh. But I have had a little vegetables or a little fruit everyday for the past five days. I am quite proud of this.
My next goal will be to prepare my lunches the night before and take them to work with me. My problem is that I come home for lunch but don't feel like prepping anything or eating anything. I'm always hungry, but I don't much like food all the time, and lunchtime is usually a time when I don't particularly want anything. Give me a candy bar and a pepsi and I"ll be great. I have to make myself eat well.
I'm taking my weight and measurements again tonight. I did weigh myself at some point, and I remain unchanged at 174, which is fine with me. I've been indulging in many cherry cokes.
Friday I had a cooking adventure. Yes, I cooked after I came home from work! I read my friend Kevin's blog and he got a new grill, and I thought, Hmm, maybe I should grill tonight. I've had this little baby charcoal grill since I moved in here, and have never used it. So I fired it up! Tried to anyway. The charcoal lit just fine, but it wouldn't stay lit. I don't think there's enough ventilation in the lid. Anyway, I kept relighting it and getting smoked out, and finally, I threw a chicken breast on it. A frozen one. It works on the George Forman grill. But I don't recommend putting a frozen chicken breast on a charcoal grill. Expecially when the grill's not really hot enough yet. I was impatient. And I was using this Mrs. Dash seasoning stuff on it. By the time it finally got done, the chicken was so tough I couldn't cut it and really couldn't chew it. And the seasoning was icky, and I smelled like lighter fluid and smoke.
The upside to this adventure was that my baked french fries turned out just fine. Those aren't difficult. Had I cut them up out of potatoes myself, that would be different. But they're from the freezer. I also threw some carrots, celery and cauliflower in an aluminum foil packet, sprinkeld ranch dressing powder on them, and grilled them. They weren't bad. I could do without the powder.
But can I just reiterate the fact that I don't like vegetables? I really don't like them cooked at all. I couldn't get more than one carrot, one piece of celery, and one piece of cauliflower down. I just couldn't do it. I really hate them. Sigh. But I have had a little vegetables or a little fruit everyday for the past five days. I am quite proud of this.
My next goal will be to prepare my lunches the night before and take them to work with me. My problem is that I come home for lunch but don't feel like prepping anything or eating anything. I'm always hungry, but I don't much like food all the time, and lunchtime is usually a time when I don't particularly want anything. Give me a candy bar and a pepsi and I"ll be great. I have to make myself eat well.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
August 2, 2007
I didn't step on the scale. I forgot. But I ate vegetables today! And mozzerella sticks and a giant cherry coke...I'm quite disappointed in myself. I didn't get to take any time off this week, either. Well, I could take tomorrow off, but at this point I don't want to, I want to spend the day cleaning and organizing the office. So I may be putting Fat Camp on hiatus until September, when my life might be more stable again. But I'm going to keep blogging and making small efforts. Ugh.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
July 31, 2007
I am sorry to report I have fallen off the fat camp wagon.
My chili turned out pretty good though. But I don't have enough room in my freezer. It's sad. But I now have food all over the place. That I'm not eating. I have fresh veggies and fruit in the fridge I'm not eating too. It was easy to buy the stuff and cook it, not so easy now to actually eat it.
I've had prescription problems with my sleep drugs, so my sleep has been very messed up. I have the pills now, so I'll be better. And I'll hop back on the wagon! I was supposed to be off tomorrow through Friday, but now I'm going in to work tomorrow. I will take Thurs and Fri off to start the exercise portion of fat camp. And eat my food.
I forgot to take down my weight on Sunday. I will do that tonight and report in tomorrow. According to the doctor scales, I'm 177 lbs. My scales weigh a little less than Dr. scales, so I'm not sure where that really leaves me. But I certainly haven't lost any. My goal at first is to just change my habits. The weight loss will come with that, and once my habits are changed I can focus more on losing the weight. Baby steps...
My chili turned out pretty good though. But I don't have enough room in my freezer. It's sad. But I now have food all over the place. That I'm not eating. I have fresh veggies and fruit in the fridge I'm not eating too. It was easy to buy the stuff and cook it, not so easy now to actually eat it.
I've had prescription problems with my sleep drugs, so my sleep has been very messed up. I have the pills now, so I'll be better. And I'll hop back on the wagon! I was supposed to be off tomorrow through Friday, but now I'm going in to work tomorrow. I will take Thurs and Fri off to start the exercise portion of fat camp. And eat my food.
I forgot to take down my weight on Sunday. I will do that tonight and report in tomorrow. According to the doctor scales, I'm 177 lbs. My scales weigh a little less than Dr. scales, so I'm not sure where that really leaves me. But I certainly haven't lost any. My goal at first is to just change my habits. The weight loss will come with that, and once my habits are changed I can focus more on losing the weight. Baby steps...
Friday, July 27, 2007
July 27, 2007
Today was "food preparation day" at the "fat camp"! First I had to take Tyler to the groomers, and spent the morning searching for a black jacket. Unsuccessful in that, but I did find a couple pairs of khaki pants that I'm in need of. I had two chicken tacos from Chipotle. Tyler's hair cut is good. He's cuddly.
It was just too hot out to go for much of a walk. We did a little. I got a good workout climbing the stairs again with the stuff I had to get (cleaning stuff mostly--one would think I'm an obsessive housekeeper. On the contrary, I hate to clean. So I try to find the best cleaning products I can to make things easier.)
Then it was cooking time. I don't really care for cooking either. And I'm not very good at it. I love baking, and I can bake cookies with the best of them. But I am a little nervous about how my food that I cooked today will turn out. The chili is already messed up, because the recipe I was using is weird. I couldn't finish it today because I didn't have the right ingredients to make it something I might actually eat. I put too much garlic salt in my spaghetti sauce. The chicken is fine, but I haven't turned them into enchiladas yet. And the roast and veggies that have been in the crock pot all day still aren't done, and the smell is making me sick so I probably won't eat it anyway. The irony is that I've got all this food so I won't be eating cereal three meals a day anymore. And I had cereal for dinner :) The pineapple is good though...
Tomorrow is another day!
It was just too hot out to go for much of a walk. We did a little. I got a good workout climbing the stairs again with the stuff I had to get (cleaning stuff mostly--one would think I'm an obsessive housekeeper. On the contrary, I hate to clean. So I try to find the best cleaning products I can to make things easier.)
Then it was cooking time. I don't really care for cooking either. And I'm not very good at it. I love baking, and I can bake cookies with the best of them. But I am a little nervous about how my food that I cooked today will turn out. The chili is already messed up, because the recipe I was using is weird. I couldn't finish it today because I didn't have the right ingredients to make it something I might actually eat. I put too much garlic salt in my spaghetti sauce. The chicken is fine, but I haven't turned them into enchiladas yet. And the roast and veggies that have been in the crock pot all day still aren't done, and the smell is making me sick so I probably won't eat it anyway. The irony is that I've got all this food so I won't be eating cereal three meals a day anymore. And I had cereal for dinner :) The pineapple is good though...
Tomorrow is another day!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
July 26, 2007--Day One
Today was the official first day of "Fat Camp"!
So it didn't start all that well. The alarm went off at 6 a.m. and I said "No, I'm on vacation!" (I spent the entire day at work yesterday, telling everyone 'I'm on vacation!'. I guess I just couldn't let it go) and turned the alarm off going back to sleep. I woke up at 8 AM and then my body and mind coordinated to say, nah, I'll stay here. Tyler agreed, he didn't move at all. My mind finally decided it was time to get up at around 9:30, and spent the next 45 minutes fighting my body to actually get out of bed. It was really pitiful. And neither Tyler nor Midnight bothered to be my backup alarm today. What good are pets if they don't get you up when you need to?
But when I did get up I actually put on some workout clothes and took Tyler for a walk! After I showered and dressed, I pulled out the recipe books and made a grocery list. Today was "Food Gathering Day" at the Fat Camp. Since my fridge died a couple months ago, my fridge and freezer were pretty bare. And what was in there wasn't all that great. Silly me, thinking that at noon on Thursday there wouldn't be many people at Hy-Vee. Apparently, everyone in town decided to take vacation today and go grocery shopping. Gah. By the time I finished I was very overwhelmed, overstimulated, and just plain cranky. And I forgot a bunch of stuff. So I came home and unloaded. There are only two things I dislike about my apartment: the funky smell only I can smell, and that it's on the third floor. I had almost $200 worth of groceries to bring up. It was heavy. Three trips of heavy bags up three flights of stairs. Good thing I'm at "Fat Camp". But I still had the dilemma of having forgotten a bunch of stuff. I decided to head to Aldi's to see what they could offer me. If you've never been to Aldi's, don't go for the first time alone. There are certain rituals and rules you must obey. Thankfully, my mother is an Aldi's fanatic and I am well versed in the rites of Aldi. But I don't go there often, so I was a little rusty. I think I pissed some folks off. But it wasn't my fault, my staff texted me right as I walked in. I can't ignore that!
Anyway, I make it through the line, and I even remembered to bring my own bags! I was bagging up my stuff and saw I got the wrong kind of chicken and no fruit. Except a pineapple. I was very excited to find pineapples at the Aldi's store. So I put the stuff in my car and marched right on back to the store. I got me the right chicken, but they didn't have any fruit of the frozen kind. By this time I was back to being overwhelmed, overstimulated and cranky, so I bought one of their insulated bags and put all my frozen stuff in it, and went back to Hy-Vee to get the frozen fruit I needed. Go figure, the frozen fruit and veggies are in the frozen dessert and pizza aisle, which I had skipped with great pride in myself earlier. I went home and lugged all this stuff up the stairs again. Took forever to put it all away. I didn't realize that a homemade "Fat Camp" would be so expensive! But if my fridge hadn't died on me, I wouldn't have had to spend so much. And after I make all this stuff, I'll have food in the freezer for a very long time. So it'll balance out.
I took Tyler on another walk. It is so frigging hot! It's not really hot, but it feels hot. And it sucks, because there's a pool down the block that we walk by every day now, and there's never anyone in it. I'm always so jealous of this pool. But it's part of the Homeowners Association in this area, and as a renter, I don't belong :( Today there were lots of people there. I wanted to wander in and just jump in. But I didn't. But I think I"m going to go to a pool more. I've not been to a pool in at least a couple years. But I really want to go.
So anyway, that was my day at "Fat Camp". I had frozen pizza for dinner--I have to eat what I have, even if it's bad for me, and if I take this slow, it'll go over better. I also baked some orange rolls I had in the fridge, but they didn't taste very good, so I'll toss those out. I'll cook up some of the good things tomorrow. I have a bunch of vegetables that I"m not sure what I'm doing with, and a whole lot of spices that I grabbed--there was a woman literally pushing me out of the way in the spice aisle today. I don't know anything about spices, I couldn't remember what I already had, and I couldn't take the time to grab my list. So I grabbed anything that looked like I might need it. My food will be flavorful at least.
Tomorrow's schedule begins with taking Tyler to be groomed (which will make walking easier) and shopping. I still need some non-grocery supplies, and I have to hunt again for a black jacket. I seem to have spent most of my adult life looking for a black jacket. I found one online at Torrid, but we don't have a store handy, and according to the sizing chart, my chest is a size "0", my waist is a size "1", and my hips are a size "2". So I'll shop tomorrow, and if I don't find one, I'll order one and hope. I will pick up Tyler in the afternoon, go for a walk, come back and cook. I also need to vacuum. My personal "Fat Camp" is slow progress, but to change one's lifestyle, one should take it slow.
Oh, and I should add that I noticed on our walk this afternoon that it was not as difficult for me to make it through as it has been. Only a few days, but I'm already in better shape! Yay me! I'm going to stretch now. My number one supporter and nagstress, Carol, informed me that I should spend tonight stretching. So I shall.
So it didn't start all that well. The alarm went off at 6 a.m. and I said "No, I'm on vacation!" (I spent the entire day at work yesterday, telling everyone 'I'm on vacation!'. I guess I just couldn't let it go) and turned the alarm off going back to sleep. I woke up at 8 AM and then my body and mind coordinated to say, nah, I'll stay here. Tyler agreed, he didn't move at all. My mind finally decided it was time to get up at around 9:30, and spent the next 45 minutes fighting my body to actually get out of bed. It was really pitiful. And neither Tyler nor Midnight bothered to be my backup alarm today. What good are pets if they don't get you up when you need to?
But when I did get up I actually put on some workout clothes and took Tyler for a walk! After I showered and dressed, I pulled out the recipe books and made a grocery list. Today was "Food Gathering Day" at the Fat Camp. Since my fridge died a couple months ago, my fridge and freezer were pretty bare. And what was in there wasn't all that great. Silly me, thinking that at noon on Thursday there wouldn't be many people at Hy-Vee. Apparently, everyone in town decided to take vacation today and go grocery shopping. Gah. By the time I finished I was very overwhelmed, overstimulated, and just plain cranky. And I forgot a bunch of stuff. So I came home and unloaded. There are only two things I dislike about my apartment: the funky smell only I can smell, and that it's on the third floor. I had almost $200 worth of groceries to bring up. It was heavy. Three trips of heavy bags up three flights of stairs. Good thing I'm at "Fat Camp". But I still had the dilemma of having forgotten a bunch of stuff. I decided to head to Aldi's to see what they could offer me. If you've never been to Aldi's, don't go for the first time alone. There are certain rituals and rules you must obey. Thankfully, my mother is an Aldi's fanatic and I am well versed in the rites of Aldi. But I don't go there often, so I was a little rusty. I think I pissed some folks off. But it wasn't my fault, my staff texted me right as I walked in. I can't ignore that!
Anyway, I make it through the line, and I even remembered to bring my own bags! I was bagging up my stuff and saw I got the wrong kind of chicken and no fruit. Except a pineapple. I was very excited to find pineapples at the Aldi's store. So I put the stuff in my car and marched right on back to the store. I got me the right chicken, but they didn't have any fruit of the frozen kind. By this time I was back to being overwhelmed, overstimulated and cranky, so I bought one of their insulated bags and put all my frozen stuff in it, and went back to Hy-Vee to get the frozen fruit I needed. Go figure, the frozen fruit and veggies are in the frozen dessert and pizza aisle, which I had skipped with great pride in myself earlier. I went home and lugged all this stuff up the stairs again. Took forever to put it all away. I didn't realize that a homemade "Fat Camp" would be so expensive! But if my fridge hadn't died on me, I wouldn't have had to spend so much. And after I make all this stuff, I'll have food in the freezer for a very long time. So it'll balance out.
I took Tyler on another walk. It is so frigging hot! It's not really hot, but it feels hot. And it sucks, because there's a pool down the block that we walk by every day now, and there's never anyone in it. I'm always so jealous of this pool. But it's part of the Homeowners Association in this area, and as a renter, I don't belong :( Today there were lots of people there. I wanted to wander in and just jump in. But I didn't. But I think I"m going to go to a pool more. I've not been to a pool in at least a couple years. But I really want to go.
So anyway, that was my day at "Fat Camp". I had frozen pizza for dinner--I have to eat what I have, even if it's bad for me, and if I take this slow, it'll go over better. I also baked some orange rolls I had in the fridge, but they didn't taste very good, so I'll toss those out. I'll cook up some of the good things tomorrow. I have a bunch of vegetables that I"m not sure what I'm doing with, and a whole lot of spices that I grabbed--there was a woman literally pushing me out of the way in the spice aisle today. I don't know anything about spices, I couldn't remember what I already had, and I couldn't take the time to grab my list. So I grabbed anything that looked like I might need it. My food will be flavorful at least.
Tomorrow's schedule begins with taking Tyler to be groomed (which will make walking easier) and shopping. I still need some non-grocery supplies, and I have to hunt again for a black jacket. I seem to have spent most of my adult life looking for a black jacket. I found one online at Torrid, but we don't have a store handy, and according to the sizing chart, my chest is a size "0", my waist is a size "1", and my hips are a size "2". So I'll shop tomorrow, and if I don't find one, I'll order one and hope. I will pick up Tyler in the afternoon, go for a walk, come back and cook. I also need to vacuum. My personal "Fat Camp" is slow progress, but to change one's lifestyle, one should take it slow.
Oh, and I should add that I noticed on our walk this afternoon that it was not as difficult for me to make it through as it has been. Only a few days, but I'm already in better shape! Yay me! I'm going to stretch now. My number one supporter and nagstress, Carol, informed me that I should spend tonight stretching. So I shall.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
July 22, 2007
I spent the better part of the weekend reading the Harry Potter book. However, I did walk Tyler a few times, and I ate some fruit today!
I haven't been able to let go of my sleeping pills. I tried, and laid awake for a couple of hours before deciding it was hopeless and took the pill. I'm calling my insurance tomorrow to make sure the sleep study is covered by my insurance. If it is, I'll do my best to overcome my addiction. If it's not, screw it, I'm taking the damn pills, they aren't hurting anything. On the contrary, I certainly feel better having slept. I'll keep you posted :)
I haven't been able to let go of my sleeping pills. I tried, and laid awake for a couple of hours before deciding it was hopeless and took the pill. I'm calling my insurance tomorrow to make sure the sleep study is covered by my insurance. If it is, I'll do my best to overcome my addiction. If it's not, screw it, I'm taking the damn pills, they aren't hurting anything. On the contrary, I certainly feel better having slept. I'll keep you posted :)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
July 19, 2007
I spent some money on the cause yesterday. I got myself a Weight Watchers cookbook. It has a lot of basic recipes for basic food, which is what I need. And since it's WW, they have the "healthy" ways to cook things. So now I have to figure out what all I'm going to cook, and I'll have a good ole time!
My gums are bleeding again, which is a recurring problem. Since all I've been eating the past week is cereal and cookies, I told myself I have scurvy and made myself get some fruit. And a new mechanical toothbrush (one of the cheapies, not a good one. that'll be a good Christmas present someday). I haven't eaten it yet. I also got some low acid orange juice a while ago, I think I'll drink some tonight.
My friends the Jacksons told me about TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) tonight. It's a weight loss support group that they go to each week. It sounds really cool, I added their website here on my site. Unfortunately, I can't go to the meetings of the St. Joseph chapter. Monday mornings aren't good. But that's OK. Maybe I'll start my own chapter. That would be motivating.
I'm telling everyone I know about this whole "fat camp" idea. The problem with this whole thing is that I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to actually do this. I may have to take random vacation days and do an extended fat camp instead of an intensive one. That might work better anyway. The big thing will be to start exercising. If I can do that, I'll be good.
Thanks go out to Terri, Susan, Cindy, and my mom for all the tips for healthier ways of being! I really am blessed for all the people in my life who support me!
My gums are bleeding again, which is a recurring problem. Since all I've been eating the past week is cereal and cookies, I told myself I have scurvy and made myself get some fruit. And a new mechanical toothbrush (one of the cheapies, not a good one. that'll be a good Christmas present someday). I haven't eaten it yet. I also got some low acid orange juice a while ago, I think I'll drink some tonight.
My friends the Jacksons told me about TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) tonight. It's a weight loss support group that they go to each week. It sounds really cool, I added their website here on my site. Unfortunately, I can't go to the meetings of the St. Joseph chapter. Monday mornings aren't good. But that's OK. Maybe I'll start my own chapter. That would be motivating.
I'm telling everyone I know about this whole "fat camp" idea. The problem with this whole thing is that I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to actually do this. I may have to take random vacation days and do an extended fat camp instead of an intensive one. That might work better anyway. The big thing will be to start exercising. If I can do that, I'll be good.
Thanks go out to Terri, Susan, Cindy, and my mom for all the tips for healthier ways of being! I really am blessed for all the people in my life who support me!
Monday, July 16, 2007
July 16, 2007
I took my "before" pictures today. They will remain on this site until this site dies. Aren't they awful? But that's how I look every day!
I added some links too. I'm not on Weight Watchers, but I do get help from them a lot. I have been on the plan before, and it worked when I stuck to it. I may go back to it once I get myself to eating better in general. The Fibromyalgia Network is also a helpful link, because having FM really affects my life all the way around. And Richard Simmons, that just goes without saying. I might join his Clubhouse even.
Let's talk about Fibromyalgia. I'm in a lot of pain and tired today. The weather is wanky, I'm dehydrated and I ate too much sugar, on top of stress and not enough sleep. Every muscle and joint in my body hurts. My vision is blurry and I'm so tired I cant' think. It's not always that bad. But I do always hurt in my legs, back and arms, and I'm always at least a hint of tired. Those are good days. The tricky bit about FM is that no one really knows what causes it or why it happens, and there is no cure. There is no one treatment, and most of the treatments that are out there barely help the symptoms. I'm on sleep medication, which helps me sleep obviously. But it's still not good enough sleep, and it doesn't help the pain.
The good news is that one surefire way to treat FM is a healthy diet and regular, low impact exercise (stretching is good--that's why I enjoy Pilates). Of course, it's very hard to will yourself to exercise when it hurts, and to cook healthy when you're too tired to fix a bowl of cereal. That's why a lot of FM patients are overweight. I can do it!
I added some links too. I'm not on Weight Watchers, but I do get help from them a lot. I have been on the plan before, and it worked when I stuck to it. I may go back to it once I get myself to eating better in general. The Fibromyalgia Network is also a helpful link, because having FM really affects my life all the way around. And Richard Simmons, that just goes without saying. I might join his Clubhouse even.
Let's talk about Fibromyalgia. I'm in a lot of pain and tired today. The weather is wanky, I'm dehydrated and I ate too much sugar, on top of stress and not enough sleep. Every muscle and joint in my body hurts. My vision is blurry and I'm so tired I cant' think. It's not always that bad. But I do always hurt in my legs, back and arms, and I'm always at least a hint of tired. Those are good days. The tricky bit about FM is that no one really knows what causes it or why it happens, and there is no cure. There is no one treatment, and most of the treatments that are out there barely help the symptoms. I'm on sleep medication, which helps me sleep obviously. But it's still not good enough sleep, and it doesn't help the pain.
The good news is that one surefire way to treat FM is a healthy diet and regular, low impact exercise (stretching is good--that's why I enjoy Pilates). Of course, it's very hard to will yourself to exercise when it hurts, and to cook healthy when you're too tired to fix a bowl of cereal. That's why a lot of FM patients are overweight. I can do it!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
July 14, 2007
My side hurts. I can no longer sit on my couch comfortably, because of the fat around my stomach.
Something else I enjoy are the grilled cheese sandwiches at Sonic. I had one today. With a giant cherry coke and mozzerella sticks. However, I did resist the urge to go to Hy-Vee and get a package of cinnamon rolls. I'm really hungry for a cinnamon roll. I think I might have cinnamon rice cakes. But the problem with rice cakes is that they hurt my gums. During my fat camp I'll have to find an alternative to them.
:)
Something else I enjoy are the grilled cheese sandwiches at Sonic. I had one today. With a giant cherry coke and mozzerella sticks. However, I did resist the urge to go to Hy-Vee and get a package of cinnamon rolls. I'm really hungry for a cinnamon roll. I think I might have cinnamon rice cakes. But the problem with rice cakes is that they hurt my gums. During my fat camp I'll have to find an alternative to them.
:)
Friday, July 13, 2007
July 13, 2007
My latest weakness that has begun this summer is cherry Coke from Sonic. I will miss these. I will miss pop altogether. I did stop drinking pop for about three weeks in February. I lost ten pounds. No pop is key.
My latest round of blood tests and head scans came back fine. There is nothing wrong with me immunologically. I think I spelled that wrong. But anyway, I'm not diabetic, I don't have lupus, my thyroid is fine. The next thing is the sleep study, on August 16. I don't know how that will work, because I can't sleep period. How am I supposed to sleep all hooked up to wires, with people watching me, in a strange place? And no drugs? I do not know.
My lifestyle change will also likely mean I will begin to feel better naturally. I am starting now with trying to disconnect myself from work once I leave. I'm not stressing over crap that happens during the day, either. I'm just going with the flow and not resisting. Here I am, I'm doing what I do, whatever. Calm.
My latest round of blood tests and head scans came back fine. There is nothing wrong with me immunologically. I think I spelled that wrong. But anyway, I'm not diabetic, I don't have lupus, my thyroid is fine. The next thing is the sleep study, on August 16. I don't know how that will work, because I can't sleep period. How am I supposed to sleep all hooked up to wires, with people watching me, in a strange place? And no drugs? I do not know.
My lifestyle change will also likely mean I will begin to feel better naturally. I am starting now with trying to disconnect myself from work once I leave. I'm not stressing over crap that happens during the day, either. I'm just going with the flow and not resisting. Here I am, I'm doing what I do, whatever. Calm.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Fat Camp!
I'm creating my own fat camp in a couple of weeks. I'm tired of being fat. So I'm going on vacation, here, and exercising my brains off and teaching myself to like good food. After that, I'll keep it up. This is my public fat chick diary, to publish my efforts and keep myself accountable. I want lots of people to read it too, because the more people watching me, the more I'll feel like I need to stick to this. So come back often!
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