Sept. 27, 2007

So I went to a conference this past weekend, and gained 2 pounds. I'm not sure how that happened, it sure didn't seem like I ate that much worse than I usually do. Maybe I'm just retaining water today. Or it was the damn cheesecake at the Horny Toad.

Since my last post, I received a challenge from Laura to actually join Weight Watchers and go to the meetings, and lose 5 pounds in 8 weeks. She knows I'm not going to back down from a challenge. So I joined and have now gone to two meetings. Which is how I know that I've gained 2 pounds. Even worse than that, thanks to the eTools, I also know that since I very first started WW in 2002 I've gained 19 pounds. Not gonna lie. I'm completely not motivated by this. But I'll get over it. I still have a challenge to meet.

I think the hardest part of the challenge is not the part about losing weight. Even though technically now I have 7 pounds to lose in 5 weeks. But I digress. The meetings I"ve gone to have been awful. Last week one woman brought her toddler with her, and he spent the entire meeting babbling and running around. And I was right behind and right next to two sets of women who knew each other and talked the entire time. To each other and to the group. Not impressed with the Leader. Today we did "Weight Loss Resumes" which, before people went off topic, was nothing much more than a plug for all of the WW products. The ladies who checked me in last week and got me started were real nice, I liked them. The lady who checked me in today wasn't nice. When I weighed in and it showed I had gained, she just looked at me like I had no business at the meeting and got short with me. And she kept my little passport book thingie, so I guess I'm not allowed to monitor my weight anymore. Maybe she was just having a bad day, and it was busy. My other issue is that all the more accomplished people sit in the front together and chat with the Leader about family and friends and stuff because they all know each other. It's a little intimidating for me. I'm not giving up though. I'm paid up until Oct. 19. I'm going to go to a different meeting next week. And a different meeting after that. Maybe I'll go to all the meetings next week. If I still don't feel comfortable with any of the groups though, I'm going to go with just the eTools. It's cheaper, and there are message boards for support. I'm all about not really interacting with real people.

I'm moving back to campus next month, so Tyler and I will have no excuse to get out and exercise. We're going to do laps around campus, which is easy since campus is a big circle. And the Fitness Center and pool are just down the street. I will have a meal plan, so I will eat salad. I will try real hard not to eat french fries.

September 17, 2007

Way back in February/March-ish my Chiropractor at the time convinced me that the reason I wasn't feeling well was because I had hidden food allergies and a yeast buildup in my system. For about a minute I eliminated all yeast, sugar, soy, corn, wheat and dairy from my diet. During that minute I ate some chicken. I also went to the grocery store and bought me a jar of natural peanut butter--peanut butter with nothing but peanuts and salt in it. I finally opened it up this weekend and tried it. First, I had to stir it, because the peanut oil separates. It's really kind of icky, and hard to do. It took me about 10 minutes to stir it enough so that it wasn't a liquid goo. It was easy to spread, which was good. Too bad it had no taste. I guess I never realized that peanuts don't really taste like much. And it was kind of oily. I couldn't finish the sandwich. I didn't even let Tyler eat it. I'm sure that some people enjoy natural peanut butter. However, I'm going to stick with my reduced fat super chunky Jif.

And I have been on a peanut butter and pretzels kick. So I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches and pretzels. And cereal. I need to eat the stuff that's in my freezer.

I'm feeling better, so that's a good thing. I only took the elevator up the stairs at work once today. And Tyler and I added a bit to our walk this evening. We'll take it slow, because we're both way out of shape. But if I didn't cut the walk off, he'd just go and go and go, even though he's panting and limping. "No mom, just one more block! I can do it! I wanna check out that mailbox post!"

Sept. 12, 2007

"Are you expecting?"





I knew the question would come up sometime, especially with these empire waist shirts I got this summer. I put one on this morning and if I didn't know me, I would have thought I was preggers too. The poor lady was the quesadilla lady in the cafeteria, and she was way more embarrassed than I was. So I put a jacket on for the rest of the day. And I'm going to refrain from wearing the empire waist shirts for a while.





I went home last week. My Grandma Ireland told me that I looked like I didn't weigh as much as I do. My Grandma Delaney asked me if I went on walks. Hee, Grandma D. would die before she would tell me I need to lose weight to my face, so that's about as close as she would get. And she may not have meant anything other than legitimately wanting to know if I go on walks. Grandma Ireland is very honest and blunt, she always has been, but more especially since her tumor. So I must have been wearing a good shirt that day. Too bad I don't remember what it was :)





I went to the rodeo and just felt uncomfortable the whole time. I sweat through my shirt in the front (probably in the back too, but I couldn't see it) so that was cute. And then I just felt...not like people were looking at me, but that I didn't want anyone to look at me. I felt the same way at the Renaissance Festival, especially when I was riding the camel:

Of course that doesn't stop me from taking pictures of myself. What it all comes down to is that I have lost my sense of personal comfort with my body. Physically I've felt like crap for a while, which is what prompted the whole fat camp thing to begin with. But up until two weeks ago, I did not really care what I looked like. Well, I cared, but I was comfortable with me. So here we have two challenges: lose the weight and force myself to go out in public. I can't use this as an excuse to become a hermit.

I will use my allergies as an excuse for now. I've called in sick twice this week because of them, and it's only Wednesday. They were really really bad before I left for home, I had to postpone my trip by a day because of them. So I got some Claritin to get me through, but I haven't taken it in a couple days. I think I'm going to go back on them. I used to take Nasonex and Allegra, but my doctor took me off those because of my mystery disease. We thought that might help. It didn't hurt, until now, when I think I'm going to die. I have been getting allergy shots for about a year, but I have had increasing reactions to them, so I haven't gone for a couple weeks. I couldn't do them when I was a kid because of bad reactions, so I guess that's still the case. Bummer.

Have I been eating well? Nope. Have I been exercising? Nope. The key is now to just do it. And I will! Not tonight. Probably not tomorrow either. But I'm thinking about it. Maybe this weekend.

:)