January 29, 2008

179.7 pounds.

No exclamation point, but I did lose weight. .9 pounds. It would have been a full pound if I had taken off my sweatshirt. Not bad. I didn't exercise enough for sure. My eating could definitely be improved, but I didn't do too bad. I think I sufficiently made up for the ice cream.

I've recovered from my soy bar debacle. I was pretty nauseous yesterday too, but today wasn't bad. Since Tyler's not here, I kind of didn't go home yesterday until midnight. I hadn't eaten much for dinner because it made me ill. But by midnight I was dizzy, so I grabbed the first thing I saw at the c-store--a chocolate chip brownie. And it was darn good too. I chased it with a yogurt because my stomach wasn't too happy having a brownie that late at night. That probably didn't contribute well to the weight loss :)

I discovered that Cherry Coke Zero is quite good. And I can't taste much of a difference between diets and regulars when I'm drinking it with food. I'll stick with diet as much as I can. It would be nice if the weight came off as fast drinking diet pop as it does with eliminating pop altogether. 

January 27, 2008--Attack of the Soybeans

I have many allergies, including food allergies. The two food allergies that I get a noticeable reaction to are whole wheat (mostly because I eat a bowl of whole wheat each morning, so any more wheat in addition to that is just too much for my poor body to take) and soy.

I went shopping on Friday and got some more snacks, including some high protein cereal bars, because Kelly keeps saying that we'll feel more satisfied if we have protein with our food. I thought that was a great idea to try. 

The Jacksons came to get Tyler today at 3. They left around 3:45. So at about 4 I thought I should have a snack before I went to the Pound Plunge exercise class tonight. So I thought, hey why don't I try one of those protein bars! That will definitely tide me over until 7 or 7:30. It was pretty yummy. Then, about a minute after I finished the thing, my mouth started burning. So I checked the ingredients list. Now, in my mind, I was thinking the cereal bar would have more protein by adding protein chemicals or something to it. It didn't even cross my mind that an alternative protein source is soy. So guess what the protein cereal bar is made of? Soy nuggets, soy lechtin, soy powder, soy oil and another shot of soy for good measure. Oh dear, thinks I.

At 4:30 I began to put new sheets on my bed. Midnight decided to crawl under the top sheet and not ever come out, so I had to take a break from it. It was during that little break that I realized that I felt like I could throw up at any minute. I haven't thrown up since I was 8, so that wasnt really a danger, but I was nauseous like none other. But I said, no, I'm going to aerobics tonight! I want to go! So I changed into my workout clothes. Then Midnight came out from under the covers and I could finish the bed. After that I had a new round of nausea while I gathered my gear to go to aerobics. I really was determined to go. 

I walked out the door and got in my car. I almost ran over Sean in the parking lot, and then headed to Alice's. By the time I got out of campus, I knew there was no way I could do aerobics. The jiggling of the car was making me extremely sick. There's no way I could jump around, bend, flex or do anything. So I turned around and came home. I'm currently writing this because I know Amy and Jen are going to demand an explanation as to why I skipped out.

I'm very sad, because I was actually looking forward to exercising tonight. I'm hoping this will pass quickly and I can maybe do a Richard Simmons tape or something. But for now I'm going to lay on the couch and pout.

January 26, 2008

So today Tyler and I went for a good walk. He still hasn't "mastered the walk" as my boy Cesar Milan would say, but keeping him on a short leash allows me to walk at a good clip. So we walked around campus once (1 mile) at that pace, and then did about a quarter of the circle at a leisurely pace with Tyler on a long leash. I was going to do the whole circle at a leisurely rate, but my trochanters started screaming at me. I guess they're still a bit inflamed. But I really shouldn't push myself too hard.

I've done pretty well making up for that ice cream. I have only had diet pop, and for the most part I've cut down the milk in the mornings. However, I have been starving all week, so a couple of mornings I cheated a little and had a bit more cereal and a bit more milk. My Mom says I'm hungry because of the ice cream. I think my body is just now starting to realize I'm not pulling in as many calories as I'm used to. Yesterday I pigged for lunch and had cheese bread and marinara sauce from the food court. And I was full until about 7, which was perfect, because it was right when I got home from grocery shopping. It's always good to not shop for food on an empty stomach. 

I got these new flavors of yogurt from Weight Watchers: White Chocolate Raspberry, Boston Creme Pie, and White Chocolate Cheesecake. Tonight I tried the Boston Creme Pie, and it was terrible. Then I tried the White Chocolate Cheesecake, That was a bit better, but I still only had about two spoonfuls. I'm not too excited about the raspberry one now. I'm kinda bummed, but at the same time, I really want to get away from the candy/chocolate type stuff. I do have a bunch of 100 calorie packs that will hit the spot when I need a chocolate fix.

Today Amy, Jen and I went to the movies. When I go to the dollar theater I'll buy at least a pop from the concession stand, because that's really where the theater's money comes from, and I want the dollar theater to stick around. But today we went to the full price theater, so I had to bring my own provisions. And be proud: I took a bottle of water and a 100 calorie pack of Oreo Candy Bites. No giant bags of chocolate covered raisins! Then we went to Cheddar's, where I was faced with a bunch of options, none of which sounded nearly as good as chicken tenders. But I got the grilled chicken sandwich and a baked potato. The chicken was marinated in something, and I didn't really care for it too much, but I ate it anyway. But I didn't eat the bun. and I did eat a bit of the tomato that came on it. Of course the potato was almost gone :) But since I wasn't really thrilled with the food, I didn't get full. If I don't like it, my body doesn't seem to recognize it. I tried a new cereal last night, and I did eat the whole bowl, but I didn't much like it, so I had to have another bowl of my fave, Grape Nuts Flakes. But both of them are healthy cereals so they don't count for too much. two bowls won't bring me down much.

Our team has lost about 1% of our weight. Not great, but pretty darn good. Kelly rocked it, she lost 4 pounds! She's been overhauling her diet over the last 9 months, though, because her son was diagnosed with Type I diabetes in June. It's odd, because he's 24. Usually Type I hits in childhood or adolescence. But my Aunt Dianne was diagnosed when she was in college too, so obviously "Juvenile Diabetes" isn't always so juvenile. But Kelly is big into carbs and fiber because of that, and really is eating the same way someone with diabetes should. It's really impressive. But it makes me really want to get more healthy myself, because I don't want to develop diabetes and have to watch my carbs. I live on carbs! I just noticed I used the word "really" three times in that paragraph. Not good writing. But I'm not going back and changing it, this is a blog, not a thesis. 

Tomorrow the Jacksons come to take Tyler for a bit (I never know for how long, it could be a couple days, it could be a couple weeks. I used to be worried that they stole him and were never bringing him back, but now I know he's in good hands and they will always bring him back eventually), so I'm worried about my exercise level. Not that we've walked too much over the last couple of weeks, because it's been stupid cold (Thursday morning I woke up and it was -8 outside. Not wind chill, the actual temperature was -8.) But it's warming up, so I need to get out and walk. And my excuse and motivation is Tyler, so I'll need to force myself outside. Or I'll need to plug in Richard Simmons and go. But either way, I need to do it!!!

January 23, 2008

I was bad yesterday. After my joyous revelation that I had lost weight, I had to come home and work all night. I had a stressful day at work yesterday and all I wanted was ice cream. So when I went to the C-store, I went straight for the ice cream. But I got a salad and a slice of cheese. And a pint of ice cream. The ice cream was just going to be a small treat. So after I'm done with my salad and started working away on my computer here, I decided to have my small treat. And instead of taking a little and putting it away, I ate the whole damn thing before I realized it. All of it. I was pretty sick, actually. 

So as soon as I realized I was done with the ice cream I calculated how many calories it was. About 1,100. I don't even want to go into how much fat is in it. So I figure if I cut down the milk every morning this week and do not have any regular pop (only diet), that will make up for the calories I ate last night. I hope.

Today I was starving. I ate a quizno's sub for lunch, which should have been more than enough. Before this most recent journey into lifestyle change I would have added a bag of dorito's or cheetos with the sandwich and chased it down with 32 oz of pepsi and a giant cookie. And I always felt ridiculously full and nasty afterward. 

I have found that since I've been eating less, I feel lighter. Not like I've lost weight, but like I don't have as much weighing me down. It's hard to describe. It's a nice feeling though. I just have to stay away from ice cream.

January 22, 2008

180.7!!

I lost 2.6 pounds!!!

And it was a crappy day at work, so I'm trying real hard not to eat ice cream. I was going to just have ice cream for dinner. But I got a salad instead. I'm going to dive into work now so I will ignore the ice cream that I bought with the salad. 

January 21, 2008

Yes, my legs hurt like heck, but I am able to walk. It was relatively warm today, so Tyler and I went for a walk. The temps are plummeting even as we speak, so it'll be a while before we venture out again. 

I didn't do any other sort of exercise today because I was real tired and sore. But I didn't do too bad with food. I had the usual breakfast, and then a bowl of cereal again for lunch. When I tried eliminating stuff i'm allergic to from my diet I bought a few different types of cereal. I finally tried a new one today--some sort of  oat flake almond nutty thing. For a "healthy" cereal, it was damn sweet. It was like eating a bowl of sugar. So I didn't finish it, and opted for my good ole grape nuts flakes again. I still have two more types to try. I made a pizza for dinner and stuck with 3 small slices. It wasn't too good, so I threw the rest away. I didn't let it cook long enough, and I bought the wrong brand of sauce. The cheese was also expired, but it wasn't moldy and hadn't been opened yet, so that could be why it tasted funny, but i doubt it. But the upside is I didn't pig out on the thing like I usually do. I did have a bottle of Pepsi, but that's still cutting back for me. And I haven't had any snacks today.

Last night I tried a Smart Ones frozen dinner--pot roast. It was good for the first few bites, then I didn't like it anymore. That happens to me a lot. I also tried some instant oatmeal that i got back when I was doing the allergy thing, so it was expired. But it wasn't good, it was sweetened with Splenda, so it left a funny aftertaste. I don't mind the Splenda in yogurt and drinks, but not food food. So I'm not ruling out oatmeal in general, just that type. I have a bunch of other frozen things to try. I don't know why I insist on trying all these new ones, I never like them. But they're fairly cheap and really easy. I'm not a big cooker--it's hard to cook for one, i hate doing dishes, and really, I'm not all that great at it. I can bake with the best of them, but forget about cooking.

I'm finding already that i'm getting fuller faster. My big thing now is to resist the urge to stress eat and mood eat. It's that time of year when my antidepressants don't work as well, and I get blue for no reason. Yesterday was one of those days. And all I wanted to do was pig out on junk. Good thing I don't have much junk left, and I didn't feel like going out anywhere to get any. So I watched a movie, and that seemed to help get over the munchies. 

I'm anxious to weigh in. I can't really tell my weight at home because I don't have a flat hard surface to put my scales on. The only place in my apartment that isn't carpeted with plush carpet is the bathroom. And the bathroom floor slopes to a little drain thing in the center. Only it's not a drain, so I'm not sure why it's there. But because of the sloping, there's no good place to put the scales. I doubt that I've lost much, which is bad for the competition thing, but I have to take this slow or it won't stick. I have finally learned that!

January 20, 2008

I have made a revelation about me and exercise. I don't know if it's just because I'm out of shape or if it's the Fibromyalgia, but my thigh muscles can't do a whole lot of strenuous stuff. We had a Pound Plunge fitness class today, and I had to stop a couple of times because my legs gave out. That's never happened before. I'm not going to be able to walk tomorrow.

There are certain things I can't do while exercising, and I need to remember that. I have to be careful with anything pertaining to feet or knees. I have hyper extension in my joints and in my feet and hand bones, so my feet splay out too much and my knees move around more than they should. And now I know that my leg muscles don't like to stretch too much or too far. Could be part of the fact that my hamstrings are too short. I'm a mess.

I hate exercising. It hurts. And then my muscles start to get all weak and shaky. And now I'll hurt even more tomorrow. I don't think I'll throw away the fitness classes, but I'll take it more slow. I'm OK with doing things differently from the rest of the class. According to all the research and stuff, exercise will hurt me, but in time it will make me hurt less in general. I just need to stay away from high impact stuff. We have aerobics next week, so I'll have to make sure I don't overdo it.

January 19, 2008

I just realized that it's my parents' wedding anniversary. I even talked to my Mom tonight too and forgot all about it.  Remind me to call again tomorrow.

Anyway, I was just catching up on all of my fatchick posts here, and thought I could at least give a bit of an update. First, the Lyrica stopped working. It actually made me gain weight. I gained 10 pounds for no good reason in the month between my big move and Thanksgiving. And thankfully my Mom saw a commercial for Lyrica and saw that one of the side effects is weight gain. So I stopped taking it. Sadly, the Christmas gorge cancelled out any potential weight loss I might have had by stopping the meds.

So I'm still battling Fibromyalgia, and with the insane weather this winter it hasn't been good. I'm glad that it's getting a bit more attention, because now when I tell people I have Fibro, they may have heard of it. On Christmas I got to talk to Aunt Beth and Aunt Dianne about it. They had no idea what I've been going through all these years. So I'm glad it's becoming more mainstream, it will definitely help with people understanding a little bit. 

I'm fighting myself when it comes to sleep. I can't seem to make myself go to bed at night, and then I can't get up in the morning. Or, like this morning, I wake up early, but don't feel like getting out of bed, so I lay there, and end up falling back asleep and waking up groggy and in pain. Sleep is a psychological game. But now that I'm going to be more active, it'll be easier to get my sleep regulated more.

I ate Cheerios tonight for the first time that I can remember. They aren't bad, but I still prefer my Grape Nuts Flakes. The Cheerios are too puffy for me. I like the substance of flakes. I did measure out 5 days of cereal in Tupperware bowls. That way I won't eat too much cereal in the mornings. Because my bowls are big, my breakfast is big. So I measured out 1 1/2 cups in each bowl and put one tsp of sugar in each one. But I found that my normal sugar dose is less than a tsp, so that was good to know.

If you get attacked by Girl Scouts and their cookies this winter and spring, I highly recommend their new cookie, Cinna-Spins. They are packaged in 100 calorie packs. You don't get as much for your money that way, but it keeps you from eating the whole box in two days, like I did the Shortbread cookies I also bought. But the Cinna-Spins are really good. Very cinnamon-y and crunchy delicious. I also just tried a Weight Watchers cookies and cream bar. It was good, but I think I'd rather stick to my yogurt. Who Knew I would ever say that? 

I am finding that I already feel better just by eating less. I never thought I ate much, but I do think I ate more than I thought. I feel lighter. It's weird. I'm not necessarily making healthier choices, I'm just having smaller portions of everything. I have a small bag of Doritos that I got with a sandwich a few days ago in my office. I haven't had half of the bag yet, and I've eaten them with two lunches already. 

I did a Richard Simmons tape today. Well, I played the tape and created my own workout to it, since it was so difficult to figure out what they were doing. He changes moves constantly, and doesn't tell you what you're doing. Or when he does, it's some obscure name that he's come up with for the move. It wouldn't be so bad, but the camera cuts to closeups of faces and feet and stupid things, so you can't really tell what they are doing. Not all of his videos are like that, thank goodness. I'll be taking this one out of my collection. I also inflated my fitness ball the other night. I don't think there's enough air in it. I need to read the manual that came with it too so I know how to use the stupid thing. I did some crunches with it today though, and it was easier than doing it from the floor and it was a better workout at the same time. I have problems doing crunches and situps on the floor because it puts a lot of pressure on my most sensitive Fibro pain points, so it kind of hurts like hell. But the ball is better for that. Plus, since you're trying to stay balanced, your muscles get an extra bonus workout.

OK, I've talked enough for tonight. I need to go to bed. :)

January 16, 2008

Well, as you know, I've not done well with my lifestyle change. I am rather disappointed with myself. But I shall not dwell on what I cannot change. I will move forward with a new plan and attitude!

Jen, Kelly, Amy and I signed up for the KJO Pound Plunge this year. Our team name is "3 Iowans and a Minnesotan". Amy's the Minnesotan. Last night was the first weigh in and sign in. We got to Sam's Club at 5:20. We left Sam's Club at 7:30. It was ridiculous. Nuts. But we made it through, although Kelly couldn't feel her toes, I was pissed off at the world, and Jen and Amy were in a daze. I weighed in at 183.3 pounds. It was actually better than I thought it would be. They took "before" pictures. I have better "before" pictures from Christmas. Ugh, I'm kinda gross. 

My Aunt Kim introduced me to ranch dressing that doesn't have soy in it. Not only does it taste fairly good, it doesn't make me sick!! I am quite excited about it and am going to start taking it with me to the cafeteria so I can eat salads. I took a 2 hour lunch this morning to go to Walmart and stocked up on 100 calorie packs, yogurt, and Lean Gourmets/Smart Ones. I also needed socks, but that doesn't go in this blog. I got a bottle of "Diet Pepsi Max", thinking it might be like "Coke Zero" (tastes almost just like the regular stuff), but it wasn't. It is Diet Pepsi with an extra shot of caffeine. Nice, but not what I'm after. So I'm still up in the air about pop. Right now I'm just cutting back. I think it will work out better if I go slow rather than cold turkey.

My plan is to eat my cereal/OJ/Milk breakfast every morning (skip the OJ if I'm on the go). Then mid morning I have a small something--a box of raisins, a crystal light, a few tootsie rolls maybe in a pinch. I don't really get so much hungry in the morning, but my mouth needs something to refresh itself after breakfast. I can't explain it, so I won't try. Then a light lunch, preferably in the cafeteria or food court because I want to maximize my money (I have a free meal plan, so I really should use it). Then mid afternoon have a 100 calorie pack. Then a light dinner. Then between dinner and bedtime I'll have a yogurt. Somewhere in there I can have a pop and a glass of V-Fusion for nutrition. My problem has never been that I consume a lot of food at one time. My problem is that I choose bad foods, and I graze all day on junk. My goal will be to get to a point where I cut out the pop altogether, and that I move more and more to eating a minimal amount of food I'm allergic to.

The exercise plan is still in the works. Each morning I will stretch for at least 15 minutes. Each evening I would like to walk Tyler once all the way around campus (one mile). I have rubber boots now, so bad weather is rarely an excuse. However, ice, extreme heat, dangerous wind chills, and lightning will be acceptable reasons to cut the walk. The other factor is darkness. I don't want to be out walking at night too much. So the walk is a variable. I'm going to go to at least one of the Pound Plunge activities each week. I would like to go swimming a couple times a week. I think the team is going to go to the fitness center together once a week. So as you can see, this area still needs some finalization, but we'll get there!

For now I must go, my laundry is done and I need to get it out of the dryer before it wrinkles. I hate when that happens!!